To Many Dates
Here it is. I’m just going to say it. I hate men. I hate the way you think, I hate the way you treat woman, I hate the things that come out of your mouths, I hate the past times you occupy yourselves with, I hate machismo, I hate male reproductive organs, I hate the smell of man, I hate the looks you give me, I hate the way you dress yourselves, I hate testosterone I hate the way you talk to me.
Today on my run I was telling Amy about the email Kelly got from Zach. If ever there was a good man who was not related to me, it would be Zach. But even Zach is an ass hole. That’s pretty much the point where I stopped running, looked at Amy and emphatically stated, “I hate men. I villain-ize them. Mell has been hurt one too many times and now, Mell is out to kill.” That is the damn truth too! I date a new man each week it seems. Often times I have more than one date on the same night. And these aren’t little boys either; they are 24-28 year old men who are looking for a wife. And then, when they’ve wasted sufficient time and money on me I tell them I’m not interested. Then I call them back two weeks later when I feel like having a boy to show off, get their hopes up, and then once again dump them by the way. I eat men for breakfast, with a side of nails. Really I’m being honest here. I’m dating three guys right now and the only one worth my time is not one of those three and probably does not care I exist. In my mind, men want to capture me, have sex with me, show me off to their buddies, have sex with me some more, talk to the guys at work about how smart their girlfriend is, marry me, impregnate me, keep me from grad school and life in Europe, then complain to the guys at work about how fat I am. And we will live happily ever after in a white house with shutters, a golden retriever that gets hair all over my couch and 2.5 kids in Grandville. I hate men. There must be a better alternative.
My runs have been anything but noteworthy 2-3 miles, lots of walking, I’m not feeling so hot this week. Too many dates I presume. I would be doing so much better in life if the damn men would be kept underground for breading purposes only. Honestly, I doubt they would object.
Today on my run I was telling Amy about the email Kelly got from Zach. If ever there was a good man who was not related to me, it would be Zach. But even Zach is an ass hole. That’s pretty much the point where I stopped running, looked at Amy and emphatically stated, “I hate men. I villain-ize them. Mell has been hurt one too many times and now, Mell is out to kill.” That is the damn truth too! I date a new man each week it seems. Often times I have more than one date on the same night. And these aren’t little boys either; they are 24-28 year old men who are looking for a wife. And then, when they’ve wasted sufficient time and money on me I tell them I’m not interested. Then I call them back two weeks later when I feel like having a boy to show off, get their hopes up, and then once again dump them by the way. I eat men for breakfast, with a side of nails. Really I’m being honest here. I’m dating three guys right now and the only one worth my time is not one of those three and probably does not care I exist. In my mind, men want to capture me, have sex with me, show me off to their buddies, have sex with me some more, talk to the guys at work about how smart their girlfriend is, marry me, impregnate me, keep me from grad school and life in Europe, then complain to the guys at work about how fat I am. And we will live happily ever after in a white house with shutters, a golden retriever that gets hair all over my couch and 2.5 kids in Grandville. I hate men. There must be a better alternative.
My runs have been anything but noteworthy 2-3 miles, lots of walking, I’m not feeling so hot this week. Too many dates I presume. I would be doing so much better in life if the damn men would be kept underground for breading purposes only. Honestly, I doubt they would object.
posted by Mell at 1:08 PM
2 Comments:
what guy at work said you're fat???
.trin
ok now, so true, so true. i really prefer women to men myself. the world would be better off if we were all just lesbians. men do smell funky but as i remember, most of your best friends all throughout your entire life have been male. in fact, you seldom ever had a girlfriend growing up and even now you have fewer girlfriends than guyfriends.
Post a Comment
<< Home