The alarm buzzed at 6:30 am. Yesterday at 6:30 am I had just passed out in a tent on a lake in paw paw from a game of tippy cup. All weekend long I drank beer and ate sugar. Today I was supposed to run 4 loops around reed's lake for a total of 17 miles. After 2 miles I felt sick to my stomach and board out of my mind.

I'm void of all motivation for anything right now. My life is absolutely insipid. I am jack's heart.

Two weeks ago I was in it, I was doing it. Something that seemed worth while unfolded in front of me every day. Kids with no caring adult in their life were tossed in front of me and I was given the opportunity to be pierced hands to them. Daily I took this opportunity. And now I sit in a classroom and work for something else, "invest in my future," and get myself horribly in debt. If this attitude is anything but enphermal my grades are going to take the blunt of it and that is the last thing I want.